If you are a mom, you definitely are aware of how daunting parenting is. One of the most difficult parts in parenting is keeping your cool when your little angels are driving you crazy! You love them very much, but sometimes they push you to the wall and make you want to yell. One moment they are not listening, or they talk back, or fight with each other, or make a mess, or doing something dangerous, or…you get the idea.

Trust me, I have witnessed such situations not once, but numerous times. I’m a mom of elementary age boy/girl twins. Parenting these two adorable and smart kids has not been a walk in the park. Aside from being adorable, these two little angels of mine also have their moments of being stubborn and defiant. Sometimes I find it frustrating to deal with such behavior, especially since I have to juggle with work, household chores and self-care.

However, with my seven years of experience in parenting, I have come to learn that yelling or getting angry only worsens things. Most at times, it harms our bonds, affects their self-esteem negatively, and worse still, it teaches them that violence is one of the ways we can use to communicate! Scary, isn’t it?

So, how can we parent without yelling or getting angry? Frankly, its not easy but very much possible. In this article, I share some of the strategies that I have been using, which to some extents have worked for me.

• Set Clear Rules and Regulations: It is important for you to set clear boundaries and structures for your kids for them to feel safe and secure. I always make sure that my kids know what I expect of them and what will happen to them if they don’t abide by the set rules. While doing this, you need to be consistent and firm, fair and respectful. Try as much as possible not to make empty threats or give in to tantrums.
• Normalize using positive language: As parents, most of the time we focus on what our kids are doing wrong. It is also appropriate to try and praise our kids when they do something right. For instance, instead of saying “Stop hitting your sister!”, say “I love it when you play nicely with your sister!” Saying such words will help in reinforcing positive behavior in your kids and make them feel better about themselves.
• Provide choices: Just like adults, kids also like to have some sense of control over their lives. Interesting, right? Well, as a parent, you need to give them choices that can assist them feel more empowered and cooperative. As for me, I usually provide them an opportunity to chose the shoes or clothing they’d like to put on. As such, instead of saying “Put on your shoes now!”, say “Do you want to wear the red shoes or the blue shoes?”. This will make them feel like they have a say in the matter, and reduce the chances of a power struggle.
• Incorporate humor: Using humor is very appropriate especially when it comes to diffusing tense situations. As a parent with two kids, twins in particular, I usually witness them fighting over numerous things like toys. In such situations, you can say “Wow, that must be a very special toy! Can I, have it?” This will surprise them and make them laugh, and hopefully forget about their conflict.
• Listen to them: What I have learnt over my parenting life, is that kids sometimes need someone to listen to them and validate their feelings and emotions. I can assure you that this clearly works wonders. Your kids may be feeling sad, angry, or frustrated about something that happened to them at school, either with friends, or even you! I always try as much as possible to be a good listener and empathize with them. As a parent, do not judge your little angels or dismiss their feelings. Make them know that you are always there for them and that you care.
• Be kind to yourself: One of the most important thing in the course of parenting is your mental wellbeing. Never at one time beat yourself for losing your temper once in a while. Remember, no single being in this world was born a parent, and this means that no one is perfect. In case you lose it and eventually find yourself yelling, learn to forgive yourself and move on. Learn from your mistakes and try to do better next time.

Most importantly, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well, exercise, relax, have fun, and do things that make you happy. A happy mom is a better mom.

I hope these tips help you parent without yelling or getting angry, and still have fun with your kids. Parenting is not easy, but it’s also rewarding and joyful. And remember, you’re not alone. And you’re not a bad mom either. You’re a human mom. And human moms make mistakes. But they also learn from them and try to do better.

Finally, if you’re looking for some great products that can help you with your parenting journey, check out the following products:

• If I Have to Tell Your One More Time – This is a book that teaches you how to communicate effectively with your kids without yelling or nagging.
•  The Moonbird Device – This is a device that helps you monitor your stress levels and guides you through breathing exercises. 
• KiwiCo – This is a subscription box that delivers fun and educational activities for you and your kids every month.
• Simple Ways To Parent Without Anger

Bye for Now!